Wednesday, June 24, 2009
12 years ago
Today marks 12 years since my dad passed away. He was visiting my sister Elena in California and died of a heart attack at the age of 63, just one month before his 64th birthday. There are times when I am grateful that he died when he did, because he had the beginnings of Alzheimer's and dying when he did, he didn't have to suffer. I am so grateful that I did not have to see him go through forgetting us, because that would have broken my heart. It is sometimes hard to believe that he is no longer with us. There are times when I will have something happen and I want to call him to tell him about it, but then I remember that he died, and it will be at that moment that peace and feeling of love will fill my heart. I feel like that is Heavenly Father's way of letting me know that he is not lost to me, that even though he is not here with me, I will get to see him again some day. And when I do, he will have seen the wonderful things (and not so wonderful things) that have happened in my life. I will not tell you that it is easy losing someone you love. Even when you have the gospel and know that there is more to dying than just death, that families can be together forever, there is still a hole that is there waiting to be filled again when you are reunited with your loved ones. I miss him so much, but through my faith, I make it through each day and remember the good times we had, even though I feel like I was not as good of a daughter as I should have been. He was a wonderful father, even though I was not raised by him, and only got to see him during most summers. He did the best that he could and it was not until he was gone that I realized just how much he did for me. He was a man of great faith. He always reminded me of who I am and what great things we can accomplish through living the gospel. Even though I did not make it to his funeral (I was serving a mission for my church and did not make it to the funeral, which is a long story) I know that he was happy with the decision that I made, because that is the kind of man he was. He knew where he was going. He wasn't perfect, far from it. But I know where he is and I know that I will be with him someday. I love you dad.
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1 comment:
Oh Sara. I do not look forward to loosing someone so close to me. What a blessing that you can see the tender mercies of the Lord through such a trial of loosing your dad. You are honoring him well by the way you are living your life. Thanks for sharing a little about him with the rest of us :)
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